PENNYWISE: SAVE THOSE PENNIES
-- THEY CAN BE YOUR.PATH
by Vanessa Cortez, staff reporter.
[Sept. 16, 2002]
time you spy a penny on the ground, take a tip from Ben Franklin and pick
it up -- fast! A penny saved is a penny earned -- and your
one cent earnings will quickly add up into vast riches of millions -- even
BILLIONS! -- of dollars!
That's the startling finding
of a panel of Weekly Universe financial experts and economists.
Consider these amazing facts:
It takes under a second to
snatch a penny off the ground, or search a phone or vending machine's coin
return slot. But even if you require a whole second to grab that
penny, you're earning money at a rate of 60 cents a minute -- $36 dollars
So really, while collecting
your copper cent, you're actually working at a job that pays an annual
salary of $72,000!
And that's if you limit yourself
to a mere 40 hours a week, 50 weeks a year. Industrious penny seekers
-- ever eyeing the ground and checking coin return slots -- even during
overtime and vacation time -- can expect to push their annual earnings
well above $100,000!
Of course, that $100,000
is before tax and SSI withholdings -- but when was the last time anyone
reported found pennies to the IRS? So if you're a single working
stiff with no exemptions or business deductions, your annual unreported
penny take- home pay of $100,000 is really equivalent to the buying power
of a taxpayer who earns $200,000!
And that's just your entry
level salary! Once you gain some workplace skills, you'll be able
to pocket a penny every half second -- doubling your annual salary to $400,000!
If you work 40 years before
retirement, that's a lifetime income of $16 million!
And that's just for pennies!
Every time you find a nickel, you're really earning an annual salary of
$2 million! Grab a dime in half a second and you're earning $4 million
a year! Pick up a quarter and you're pulling an annual salary of
$10 million -- a lifetime income of $400 million!
You're now earning enough
to rival the biggest Hollywood stars -- and make them pea-green with envy!
Ever find a dollar?
If so, by picking it up, you've worked at a job that pays a lifetime income
of $1.6 BILLION! Yup, that's BILLION with a B!
Ever pick up a fiver?
Your lifetime income bracket is $8 BILLION!
Ever find a ten spot?
Your lifetime income bracket is $16 BILLION!
And if you were ever industrious
enough to pick up a $20 bill in half a second -- and did not report it
the IRS -- you were employed in a job that pays an annual "after tax" salary
of $800 million! -- with a lifetime earnings total of $32 BILLION!
Ever pick up a $100 bill?
If so, your job's lifetime earnings would total $640 BILLION! You'd
be earning as much as six or seven Bill Gates!
Of course, unless you find
another $100 in the next half second, you'd have lost your job. But
many people can claim to have been in the $640 BILLION-a- lifetime income
bracket, even for only a half-second?
So keep your eyes peeled
for pennies, keep checking those coin return slots -- because that loose
change really adds up!
Copyright 2002 by WeeklyUniverse.com
|Vanessa Cortez is a Los Angeles based tabloid reporter who has investigated the occult underbelly of the entertainment industry. Read more about her journalism in Hollywood Witches.
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